


There is a frog where a frog shouldn't be

by SD_oil



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Bring your pet to work day, Crack, Fluff and Crack, I tried not writing angst for once, Jon owns a Ball Python, M/M, Martin collects animals like pokemon, Martins frog is named Konami and i think that's very valid of him, Snakes as a way of getting closer, Tim is really fucking scared of snakes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-11
Updated: 2021-01-11
Packaged: 2021-03-15 14:40:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,218
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28690314
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SD_oil/pseuds/SD_oil
Summary: Jon knew letting Elias schedule a “bring your pet to work day” was a bad idea. But still, here he was standing in the doorframe to his office staring at a frog. Yes a frog. Sitting right in the middle of the statement he was working on.
Relationships: Martin Blackwood/Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist
Comments: 2
Kudos: 50





	There is a frog where a frog shouldn't be

**Author's Note:**

> Enjoy this little fic i started writing on the train over 3 months ago based on the prompt "there is a frog somewhere a frog shouldn't be" given to me by my friend vega.  
> my friend Aloe helped me with the snake knowledge part, since i know near to nothing about snakes.
> 
> DISCLAIMER  
> all knowledge about snakes and frogs should be taken with a grain of salt, although i study(/ied) biology my knowledge shouldn't be trusted.

Jon knew letting Elias schedule a “bring your pet to work day” was a bad idea. But still, here he was standing in the doorframe to his office staring at a frog. Yes a frog. Sitting right in the middle of the statement he was working on.

Jon slowly backed out of his office and looked around for the owner of this quite remarkable pet.

“Good lord Martin, please for the love of god. Keep track of your pets.”

The man sitting at the desk covered in various differently sized nurseries, including a medium sized nursery with at least 30 ladybugs crawling inside it, stood up hastily.

“Which one? Where? Was it Percival? I bet it was Percy. Oh Jon I’m so sorry! I know you are scared of him.”

“Martin, I’m not scared of a frog. What kind of person do you see me as.”

“Oh shit! Fuck! You mean Konami left his nursery.”

“His name is Konami? Why- where did you get that name from?”

“Oh- you know, like frogger? From the videogame.”

“Frogger? How- how does that equal Konami?”

“Oh- uhm, you- you know, they are the developers, or maybe a better word for them would be the company that developed frogger.”

“Oh that, yeah that makes sense. Uhm- Are you- Are you going to put him back or?”

“Oh yeah, yeah of course. I do think I got my gloves right,” Martin says as he turns his bag inside out and grabs something see-through. “Here.”

“G-gloves?” Jon asks tentatively.

“Yeah,” Martin says as he walks past Jon and into Jon’s office. “A frog's skin can be very porous. So if I were to touch Konami with my bare hands the oils and salt on my skin would come in contact with his skin and be absorbed pretty fast, which isn’t the best for my little friend.”

“Ah, I see.” Jon said as he watched Martin pick up his frog Konami and walk back to his desk to put Konami back in his nursery. “You know you are quite knowledgeable about him.”

“I- I mean you really should know about the do’s and don’ts of your pet before you even consider owning one.” Martin said as a blush crept up on his neck.

“Oh no I know!” Jon sputtered, “I have researched ball pythons ever since I turned 14. My grandma never understood why. As soon as I had a place of my own I bought the corporal and all of the necessary equipment like a nursery that is large enough for him to stretch out over 2 sides and a heating lamp.”

“It wasn’t my intention to make you feel attacked because of what I said. I’m sorry for that.” Martin said, averting his eyes.

“Oh no don’t worry. It was from a place of passion, I get it. I think I would react the same way you did.” Jon said with a smile on his face. “Talking about passions, did you know that ball pythons can't see very well and use the heat sensing pits on their nose/face/mouth/whatever to see heat.”

“That’s so cool! what about their behaviour? Like, do they- do they react differently to different people?”

“They don't actually. If a ball python is used to one person they are used to all people. They actually don't really love people or hold grudges.”

“That is so cool! i think. Do they still prefer some people over others?”

“The only thing that makes them prefer some people is based on how warm the person is. They really tend more towards the warmest places. Which on a human body would basically mean the neck and the armpits. so in general terms that basically means your upper body.” Jon says his left hand reaching up to scratch the back of his neck. “You want to hold him? I think he would rather enjoy you.”

“Oh, yeah, i would love to.” He said as his cheeks slowly turned a light pink.

Jon walked over to the cage the corporal was currently residing in. He reached into the cage and took the corporal out, walking back towards martin.

“May i place him around your neck or do you want to get acquainted first?” Jon asked, the corporal sitting around his own neck.

“Oh, uhm, placing him on me is fine.”

Jon tentatively placed the corporal around Martin's neck. Not noticing Martins increasing blush.

The corporal was still for a second before slowly slithering around.

“Not gonna lie, that is a weird feeling. Kind of like marble but with more texture.”

“Thats an interesting description. I dont think i’ve ever heard someone call his texture that.” Jon said with an audible smile.

“Am i wrong though? Just squint really hard and you can feel the similarities.”

“No, no you are absolutely right Martin.” Jon reached out his own hand to touch the corporal, “he feels like a silky marble texture.”

“You said you had him ever since you moved out, he must have been in your care for a long time then.”

“Actually not that long, I moved out of my grandma's house 10 years ago. I bought the corporal maybe a year after, I had to talk a bit with my landlord before they accepted a python in their building.”

“Oh you moved out later than the general population.”

“I don’t think 18 is that late? Quite early in my experience to be honest.”

“Wait! How old are you? I thought you were older, but you are just 28?”

“Yes I’m 28. Look Martin, I know. The gray streaks fool more people than just you.”

“No, no, i am just surprised i am not the youngest person here.”

“No, yeah that would be me.”

“After all these months! constant torture from tim for being the young one, and here you are. The biggest grin on your face, telling me i am not the youngest? That i was subjected to this constant rebuttal for no reason?” He said in a fake offended tone, hand placed on his heart. “Oh you sure are a man Jon.”

“To be fair Martin, I had no clue you all thought I was older. This is completely on you for not asking my age.”

The Corporal still had his grip on Martin, slowly moving around. A voice increasing in volume could be heard past the door to Jons office.

“Martin, martin are you here? I found something i might need your help wi-” Tim abruptly came to a halt in the doorway, frozen in shock.

“Martin,” he whispered. “Why is there a snake around your neck?”

“Oh? you mean the corporal? He is jons snake, he let me hold him for a bit.” Martin smiled.

“You want to hold him as well? according to Martin his texture is quite nice.” Jon offered.

“No, no I think I'm good, euhm. I’m going to leave now.” Tim slowly backed out of the room, “yeah, that sounds like a good plan, I- I’ll see you later Martin.”

The second the door was closed Martin and Jon broke out in laughter.

“Timothy Stokers weakness, snakes. Who would have thought?” Martin managed to wheeze through his laughter.

“At Least you got something to tease him for now.”

“That I do, Jon, that I do.”

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed reading this! This fic was written for my dear friend Aloe but i hope you had a fun time as well!


End file.
